What can I do about this? Is there hope for me?

    Yes, there is. Indeed, there are a multitude of options open to you, and in certain ways you can consider yourself spoilt for choices. The real issue is making certain you truly know what you want. Once you know that, I assure you that you can actually, truly achieve it....depending on a few factors which I will explain.For the classic, 'true' transsexual, such as your author, the future is very clean cut and straightforward. If you are less defined, if you are unsure or unclear, if your issues are not beyond question, then the multitude of choices become worth examination. Let us take this step by step.
    A classic, or 'true' transsexual follows a fairly predictable pattern, with a rather predictable and common life story. The basic cookie cutter version is easily summarized.

    The classic transsexual is aware of gender conflict at a very early stage in life, usually somewhere around the age of five. The gender issue causes problems throughout life, because the transsexual  cannot entirely suppress or deny the truth of their identity altogether, despite social pressure to do so. As time goes on, the agony of gender dysphoria, and a life of misery and self-denial, becomes unendurable and something must be done about it, either to correct it, or to permanently stop the suffering. For the latter group, the answer is too commonly suicide, but for the former, the answer is very standardized: hormones, followed usually by surgery.